What is Guillotine Dating?
Guillotine Dating is the act of searching for a partner with a specific dating purpose in mind. Thanks to some of our strategies, we give ourselves the best chances at finding what we want and nurture it. Most importantly, we use questions as a tool to gauge compatibility and implement methods to improve our relationship. There are 5 important ingredients that set Guillotine Dating apart from traditional dating; this is Part 1. Disclaimer: no dating partners are actually harmed in this process. :)
Let's go over "dating with a purpose". It’s okay to be unclear about our dating purpose. Many of us don’t know what we want in a mate, especially if we are new to dating or have other priorities in life. However, Guillotine dating simply does not exist without a clear, well defined purpose. Without a strong purpose, we can do other forms of dating but we will not be ready for a Guillotine relationship until we know exactly what we want. Below are steps we can take to define our dating purpose.
1.1 - Define Yourself
It all starts with self work. Before looking for a Guillotine relationship, you need to know who you are and what you want in life. Start with a SWOT analysis of yourself to get a grasp of your strengths and shortcomings. For those who don't know: SWOT Analysis is an overview of Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities, and Threats; click here for an example of what a SWOT analysis consists of. This example is career focused, you will need to replicate it on a personal level and be more relationship focused. For example, which flaws are you working on and what are the ones you decided to embrace? How can you complement someone and how can someone complement you?
1.2 - Define Your Dating “Why”
Why do you want to be with someone? At this point, this is still a conversation with yourself, so be blunt and honest. By the way, “an unexplainable yearning for companionship” or “just sex” are perfectly acceptable answers. Create a list with all the possible reasons that come to mind and revise that list until you feel very strongly about it inside out. You need to have a strong “why”, otherwise you will experience dating fatigue and give up on the process. It’s also important to have a strong reason for dating to avoid going against yourself when you start looking.
1.3 - Define the “Who” to Date
It’s important to define what you want and why. What are your non-negotiable wants and needs in a partner? Are you looking for a life-long partner, a “now” partner, or something in between? Do you need your next relationship to be monogamous, polyamorous, or are you flexible? Create a clear profile of what you’re looking for. Define your must haves, your nice to haves, and deal breakers. Please make sure the “who” you date matches the “why” you date. Be honest with yourself and be aware of social stigma that may not align with what you truly want.
